Esther Arunga and Killer husband Quincy Timberlak
Esther Arunga and Killer husband Quincy Timberlak

Before her downfall, Esther Arunga was the sexiest black woman alive in the world. Few can disagree with that. Add to that her eloquence, brains and you had a woman that men hankered after and women envied. 

Crap happens.

I will never judge her. It could be a mental problem. It could be a strict upbringing that overprotects girls and I have seen this always backfires. Rich parents who are overly protective sometimes bring up some very naive girls, who are extremely vulnerable and invariably deflowered by the ‘lowliest’ of men(materially and intellectually, granted sex has no class or taste.). It is mostly the watchmen and driver’s of their fathers who get there first. (By the way, I have nothing against lowliest men).

But also, credit to men like Quincy Timberlake. Research done then proved that there was no significant difference between the brain size of a cockroach and Timberlake’s brain. Further research revealed that his IQ was comparable to that of a mouse.

But off my head I know at least four men of Timberlake’s caliber who have dated and almost married some of the most beautiful and brainiest women I know.

Like one of my crushes. She used to bang some school leaver who used to play Pool in campus, who walked around in sleepers and who used to treat her so disrespectful, it made me suicidal. I can count up to ten women in in high flying careers who have had a dalliance with the Timberlake’s of this world.

Men like Timberlake are super delusional. They can sell pigs in Saudi Arabia. As in they have a certain level of confidence that scares even me. Like one of them, who once dated this cousin of mine who scored an A from Loreto. Dude was thicker than Oscar Audi’s lips. But he was super polished, very composed and by the time we knew that he was a con, he had conned almost everyone in our circles. 

A poorly raised girl has no protection against men like Timberlake. By poor, I mean, lack of decent exposure to stuff at the right time. Men like Timberlake are too charming, too assuring, that most girls found them irresistible. They know how to sell stuff. And they know how to dangle the material girl, which even girls raised in abundant wealth cannot escape.
If anything, men like Timberlake fascinate me, and one day, I will study psychology to demystify them.

For one, they all have a dubious background. Mostly, scored some low grade in high school, that is if they finished. They talk a big game. You may see them photographed near by no less authoritative figures than the president of the country. They are not afraid of anything. They drop names like the DCI drops corruption cases. If you are intelligent, you can smell their bullshit from a distance. For college education, they hang around their former friends or home mates in a college(Kenya Poly, Moi Uni, KU) long enough people confuse they studied there.

Nobody really knows what they do(sell gold, clearing and forwarding, car sales). Nobody knows where they live, because mostly, they don’t have a permanent abode and their worldly possessions can fit into the front pocket of their khakis. Typically, they live off cougars and vulnerable older richer but older women, until the women realise their uselessness or grow tired of their lives, or their pipe.

I think the women who cling to them, do so because the men know how to lay the pipe, like they were born to work for cable companies. Also, they know how to fool a lady with simple gestures and gifts.

Where a stupid omogusii like me thinks paying rent and buying food suffices, the fools know that women(most of them) are always taken in by simple gifts and surprises.

There are a number of things that can make women lose their heads, besides cabling. A man who worships the ground they walk on. A man who “there for me”. A man who tolerates their every mood change and sometimes outright bad behaviour. And a man who can never call out their weakness or bullshit. And men like Timberlake have superhuman abilities of tolerating feminine whiles that you and me will not stomach.

They mostly target three classes of women: older, rich and single. Young, from rich families. And extremely bright ones. Because, these ones are the most vulnerable. Older, richer and single, have a string of good men they left on the way side when they were young. Now, such men have also upgraded and probably have a bias towards younger and prettier women. And if such older women are desperate, they can settle for these men, who chauffer them around with the patience that can make the Biblical Job suffocate with envy. Young from rich families often have self-esteem issues if the father was a tyrant. And the Timberlake’s of this world are the biggest supplier of self-esteem, they actually have a big minefield of self esteem in Gabon. And lastly, bright women scare most men because some of them have some really sick attitude and entitlement to life. Most bright girls grow up knowing the world is theirs for the taking and they have zero tolerance for mediocrity from most men in their circles. They always pay a heavy price for this. When they meet a Timberlake, it is all the way down. Most Timberlakes, to balance nature’s equation that denied good brains always , always punish these women with kids(somehow, it is mostly sons they sire, not sure why). By the time the woman realises that he is a thug, they are single mothers.

What is the way out.

Well for girls, if your parents ever express doubts towards your choice of a man, kindly listen to them. Their fears maybe unfounded, but 9 out of 10 times they are right. Fathers especially can smell a bad boy from Timbuktu while standing on the Table Mountain.

Secondly, while it is OK to enjoy the services of good plumbers, like good old Sommore said, ‘don’t get dickmatized’.

And men like Timberlake may try to mess with your brain and self esteem, as they are stupidly controlling, you need to be on the lookout.
Sometimes girls stay out of shame. Thinking they have already fucked up, they can as well stay. That is not the way. Whether it is the child, whether it is whatever it is, you can always leave and go back home. Parents will always forgive, and your siblings will always understand.

For now, we must always pray for our daughters never to end in the hands of a Timberlake. It wrecks their lives totally.

Volume knob imeharibika, hakuna kuongeza.

By Silas Nyachwani.


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